I’ll be honest... I’m guilty of this one. After a hard day at work, hours spent chasing our toddler around, and catching up on emails until my clock hits 9 p.m., I am completely spent. I feel like I’ve earned a little "me time."
So when I get into bed and pick up my phone for some mindless scrolling, I know I’m walking into the lion’s den. That "few minutes" can easily turn into an hour. And I know I’m not alone, as I regularly read about this trend in the news and hear stories from friends about how TikTok is still running on their chest even after they’ve finally fallen asleep.
There’s a real urge to fight back against the constant go-go-go mentality we live in. The problem is that if we let that revenge scrolling or "one more episode" habit go too long, it wrecks the one thing that actually helps us recover… sleep.
What Revenge Bedtime Procrastination Really Is
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination is what happens when we delay sleep, even though we know we’ll regret it, because we crave a little "me time."
The term first gained traction in China, but the behavior has been around as long as long days have existed. Over time it’s picked up nicknames like revenge scrolling, doom scrolling, or revenge TV. Call it what you want, it’s the same story - trading rest for control.
Researchers define it by three things:
- You’re choosing to stay up voluntarily.
- You know it’ll hurt your sleep and your next day.
- You’re doing it to reclaim a sense of control or autonomy.
You spent the entire day responding to everyone else’s needs - your boss, your kids, your partner, your inbox - and by night, your brain just wants a say in how something ends.
Even Spiderman (Tom Holland) admitted that he had to delete Instagram because he was staying up too late scrolling. Likewise, Chrissy Teigen has joked about "doom scrolling herself into another dimension." So just know that when you have the urge to keep scrolling… you’re not alone.
Why It’s Getting Worse
Today’s world definitely has stacked the deck against us. Work hours stretch later, messages ping well into the night, and the line between home and office basically disappeared after 2020. The average adult now works 47 hours a week and checks their phone more than 100 times a day.
According to Frontiers in Psychology, bedtime procrastination is a coping behavior - a small rebellion against the feeling that every hour of your day already belongs to someone else. The Sleep Foundation found that people with low daytime control or high stress are far more likely to delay bedtime for "revenge leisure."
Add in the constant temptation of streaming and social media, and you’ve got the perfect setup for sleepless nights. Netflix literally builds cliffhangers to keep you up; TikTok’s "For You" feed might as well be named "For When You Should Be Sleeping;" and even the great Taylor Swift has joked about late-night scrolling sessions on Reddit.
For parents, it’s even trickier because after the chaos of bedtime routines, that quiet window from 8 to 10 p.m. feels sacred. It’s your only true alone time… except in reality, you’re borrowing it from tomorrow.
Emotional Debt and the Weight of the Day
Throughout the day, you burn through patience, focus, and emotional energy. Every "Can you just..." and "One quick thing..." adds up. By evening, your brain’s running on fumes. So when you finally crash on the couch and open your phone, it’s not about curiosity, it’s about control. You’re trying to remind yourself that the day still belongs to you.
The problem is that it backfires. The blue light from your screen tells your brain it’s daytime, delaying melatonin and pushing your body clock later. In fact, studies show that late-night screen use can raise cortisol and cut REM sleep – the part that resets your emotional balance and decision-making.So you wake up groggy, irritable, and even more desperate for the time you thought you were reclaiming.
Meanwhile, if you can’t call it quits on the scrolling, you’ll easily eat into your sleep time and cut your total sleep duration. The less minutes you’re asleep, the worse you’ll feel the next day.
How to Break the Cycle Without Losing Your "Me Time"
Don’t worry, we have a couple quick steps you can follow in order to make time for “me”, while also protecting your sleep and recovery.
1. Recognize it when it’s happening
The next time you hear that voice say "just one more episode," pause and ask, "Do I actually need entertainment right now, or a break from responsibility?" Most of the time, it’s the latter.
2. Move your reward forward
Find a small pocket of time earlier in the evening that’s just for you. Maybe that’s twenty minutes after dinner, a quick walk, or watching a show right after your kid goes to bed – not right before you do. You’re not giving up “me time,” you’re just moving it to a better part of the day.
3. Create a real wind-down
Transitioning from "day mode" to "sleep mode" takes time. Dim the lights, cut screens, or read something low-stakes (not the news). Think of it as cool-down laps for your brain.
4. Treat bedtime like a commitment
You wouldn’t skip a meeting that impacts your performance, so don’t skip the one thing that decides your focus, patience, and energy tomorrow. For parents, structure your night intentionally: family; personal time; wind down; and sleep (in that order).
Final Takeaway
Everyone wants a sense of control. But trading rest for another hour of scrolling is like spending money to feel rich – it works for a minute and leaves you worse off.
The next time your thumb hovers over the feed, try calling it what it is: fatigue disguised as freedom. You don’t need to give up your "me time." Just protect the hours that actually rebuild you – your sleep routine.
